


Taxes

by kibasniper



Series: Honorary Tales [13]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Breakfast, Confusion, Explanations, Gen, Taxes, lightning has lived in the sky most of his life and doesn't know anything, meanwhile argent is suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 12:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kibasniper/pseuds/kibasniper
Summary: Argent tries to teach Lightning about taxes.





	Taxes

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post by tumblr user intratempestuous.

Spotting Argent at the breakfast table wasn’t an uncommon sight for Lightning. She was usually the among the first of Titans South to be awake on weekdays. Her breakfast plate littered with peeled apple skins and flecks of oatmeal was shoved away in favor of scalding black coffee. Steam rose from the rim and swirled around Argent’s head. Argent took an adamant sip, scrunched her face, and then shoved the mug away. Grimacing at the thought of the hot, rustic colored liquid gliding down her throat, Lightning offered a greeting, and she waved half-heartedly, a grunt of acknowledge slipping past her lips.

Lightning hummed to himself. When he passed her towards the kitchen, he noticed she was free of makeup. Her lips were bare and pale gray, and the traces of eyeshadow or eyeliner rimmed around her eyes were gone. Instead, Lightning noted that her eyelids were rather puffy as if she did not get a wink of sleep.

“You are not doing well?” Lightning wondered from his spot in the kitchen. He tore out two pieces of bread from the plastic tupperwave on the counter.

Argent itched her neck with half-bitten nails. “Yeah, sorry, Lightning, but I’m not really in the mood to talk right now.”

Lightning would have inquired more, but he noticed her tense figure. Her shoulders were nearly touching her earlobes, and her posture swung towards the left, a rare hunch in her spine. She was normally more pristine in her appearance. Lightning decided against asking if she needed his help and went about to making his breakfast, his thoughts still focusing on her evident stress.

While he stuffed the bread in the toaster and proceeded to beat his pepper, eggs, and milk in a bowl, he watched her write on various papers. Her pen raced across the pages as her fingers streaked through her tousled hair, which he realized was not brushed. She itched her temple with the back of her pen as Lightning’s toast popped up, landing perfectly on a plate he prepared next to the toaster. Watching Argent set her pen aside and chug down a solid portion of her burning coffee, Lightning was more than mystified as he silently continued making his scrambled eggs.

“Stupid government sending out all these forms. Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she mumbled, organizing her papers only to splay them out once again.

“May I know what are you doing?” Lightning asked, rounding by her table. He sat down across from Argent, a warm plate of toast with jam and scrambled eggs in hand.

She sighed, her fingers threading through her hair. She set down her cup of scalding black coffee and said, “Taxes, my friend, taxes.”

Lightning hesitated, his fork just about to pierce the fluffy eggs. “Taxes?”

“Yeah.” Argent vaguely waved her hand as she sorted through the paperwork. “My old man was the one who always filled these out so I’m having some trouble and-”

“What are they?”

Argent’s lips clamped together. She flicked her gaze over to Lightning and slowly straightened her back. She flipped through a few of the papers and cleared her throat. “I’m sorry?”

Lightning pointed at the papers with his fork. “What are taxes?”

Silence crept over them, and Lightning took an uncertain bite of his eggs. She watched him chew and swallow before peering down at her paperwork. Argent took her pen, opened her mouth, closed it, and furrowed her brow.

“You don’t know?” she asked, resting her elbows on the table and setting her hands to her chin.

“I lived in the sky for a majority of my life. Of course I am unaware,” Lightning replied, a nerve pinched.

Argent winced, a fleeting feeling of foolishness flicking her mind. “Oh! Uh, right, right. That, uh, yeah, that explains it.” She cleared her throat. Taking the paperwork, she shoved them all together in an unorganized manner and pointed at the tiny lettering adorning the first page. “So, um, the government sends out mandatory charges that people have to pay.”

Lightning quirked an eyebrow. “That...does not make sense to Lightning. Why must you pay for something you did not acquire? After all, Lightning knows that money can be exchanged for goods and services. So, why must you pay for something you did not buy?”

 

A trickle of sweat ran down her temple. Argent pursed her lips, and her fingers grasped for something that was intangible. “Well, it’s...governmental stuff. Tax returns and-”

“Your taxes can be returned? Then why not get a ‘refund?’ Is it not that simple?” Lightning huffed and took another bite of his scrambled eggs. “My brother and I went to the video game store and demanded a refund when our purchased game did not work. It should be as simple as that.” Lightning looked over to Argent and found her pinching the space between her eyes. “What? What is wrong now?”

She glared evenly at the carpeted floor. Explaining taxes to Lightning, someone who hardly knew the value of currency, was far more painful than a knife to her stomach. Even she was having trouble fully understanding her taxes, but having to inform Lightning about them made her headache explode. She rubbed her temples in a vain attempt of quelling the pain brought upon by his remarks.

Taking a breath, Argent pressed her palms together and said, “Okay, it’s like this, Lightning. The government makes you pay taxes so they can use that money to build stuff like bridges and whatnot.”

Lightning stuffed his cheeks full of toast. Licking strawberry jam off his lips, he chewed and asked, “Then why do you have to do it?”

“Because all people gotta do it. If you make money, then you have to fill out taxes.” She frowned. “Also, man, swallow first and then talk. It’s just plain rude to talk with your mouth full.”

Scowling, Lightning made sure to swallow his next bite of toast before saying, “But we do not get paid for our services.”

She blinked. “What?”

“We are not paid as Titans. Henceforth, why must we pay taxes?” Lightning stood up and collected his plate. Brushing a few crumbs off his armor, he shrugged. “Lightning does not have to pay these ‘taxes,’ so why must you?”

Argent let his words sink into her brain. Closing her eyes, she pressed her hands to her face and sharply groaned. She cracked her back violently on the chair, appearing momentarily possessed and startled the elemental, who hurried back to the kitchen.

“Because you don’t have a job, Lightning! This isn’t exactly a career, y’know!” Argent exclaimed, and she slumped over, resting her face between her arms on the table.

After setting his plate into the sink, Lightning hopped over to her. Cocking his head, he asked, “Then why do you have to pay taxes?”

“Because some of us have stupidly wealthy dads who are currently in stupid prison for making stupid decisions and his daughter has to pick up his stupid slack from his stupid trust fund and stupid business endeavors that still relate back to her,” Argent mumbled, and Lightning strained his ears to hear her deadpanning response.

Lightning, despite not entirely understanding her plight, patted her head. He watched her sling her arm out and continue writing without looking at the forms, scribbling in numbers and facts. Stepping away as Argent straightened, he cracked his neck and grinned.

“Well, I may still have no real understanding of what taxes are, but I appreciate your teaching efforts!” he proclaimed, laughing, and Argent raised her thumb, completely defeated.


End file.
